A tag for charity

I was tagged by JT who was tagged by Ruby Ahmad, who was tagged by Raden Galoh, who was tagged by Idham. Anyway, he is planning to compile as many tags/memes as possible by 26th August, for which every tag/meme, he will contribute RM127 to Darul Izzah Orphanage. The meme is about completing at least seventeen out of the following twenty seven sentences.

Okay looks like its time to finally join in the tag-game. I plead guilty to not having fulfilled my tag on previous occasions … sorry JT and Daphne, but since I was told by JT (who phoned me personally all the way from Germany) that this tag is for the benefit of orphans, I shall do my part as well. So here goes (prefer to do it with a touch of humour, though .. :)

1. A person is only as good as ... long as he/she does not hit his/her friends for a loan.

2. Friendship is always ... great while you still have money. Once you’re broke, your friends will dump you.

3. To love is to ... act like a walking, talking, breathing fool!

4. Money makes me ... wonder why I don’t have any.

5. I miss ... when I used to be a 36-24-36 (way back in the 80s)

6. My way of saying I care is by ... ignoring you and giving you lots of space to get over whatever it is that’s bugging you right now.

7. I try to spread love and happiness by... staying away from the rest of the world.

8. Pick the flowers when ... you discover that you have a pollen allergy.

9. To love someone is to ... make a complete, utter fool of yourself.

10. Beauty is ... when you manage to beat 50 other contestants and have the crown on your head.

11. When I was 13, what I remember the most was ... thinking what was the big deal in turning 13.

12. When I was 21, I remember... thinking what was the big deal in turning 21.

13. I am most happy when ... people I hate are miserable.

14. Nothing makes me happier than ... seeing that what goes around comes around.

15. If I can change one thing, I will change ... the way some people look and wipe those damn smirks off their face.

16. If smiles were ... a dime a dozen, then I … would be in abject poverty.

17. Wouldn't it be nice if we could ... have less dumb Presidents in some parts of the world.

18. If you want to ... flatter someone.. then you have to ... be absolutely good in “sucking up”.


19. Money is not everything but ... if you have it, then you can rule the world.

20. The most touching moment I have experienced is ... when my favourite character in a soap opera I was watching died.

21. I smile when ... I’m up to no good.

22. When I am happy, I ... make sure that others are miserable.

23. If only I don't have to ... do this damn tag ... then... I could be doing something else.

24. The best thing I did yesterday was ... shove that person who was trying to shove me while we were trying to board the bus.

25. If I ever write a book, I will give it this title ... “FINALLY”

26. One thing I must do before I die is ... tell certain people what I really think of them.

27. Doing this meme, I feel like ... JT owes me big time! So I now pass on this tag to Daphne Ling. Have fun girl!

We all need a little magic

Yours truly was busy these couple of weeks in the world of Harry Potter. I had to persuade my nephew to lend me the entire collection and just managed to finish all 6 books today. Yeah, yeah I know … most of you are over and done with it and are eagerly awaiting the so-called final book which should be out next month.
Well, don’t forget that I’m the Queen of Procrastination, plus I’m the type of person who likes all the hype to die down before I venture into something … why be one the crowd?
Anyway I must say that I enjoyed the stories despite the fact that some of us have been warned by certain religious authorities of the evil lurking behind them. To me, they are just stories – something to while the time away and yes, maybe even a brief opportunity to escape into a world of fantasy.
How many of us have wished when things go wrong as they often do, that we had those little wands that we could use to make everything right again. How many of us wished that we could have a little “magic” to have that “oh so perfect life that we dreamed of”.
Yes, we could all do with a little bit of “magic” in our lives, and believe me its possible if we put our minds to it. I’m not talking about the “magic” of wizards, witches and fairies but I’m talking about the “magic” that resides in each one of us.
I’m talking about the magic of kindness, the magic of generosity, the magic of friendship, the magic of love, the magic of honesty, the magic of reaching out … and the list is endless.
If we can make just one person feel better by using the magic inside us, then we have certainly achieved a lot – we can erase loneliness, we can take away pain, we can bring joy, we can fill hearts with hope.
So who says we needs wands and spells to fill our lives with magic? We have the power, use it wisely and unselfishly – we could all use a little magic in our lives.

Who am I really?

“Describe yourself,” said the lady seated across me during the interview. Describe myself? What exactly am I supposed to say, I thought to myself. I’m sure she’s not asking me to describe myself physically – I am sitting right in front of her, so she knows what I look like.
Am I supposed to talk about my academic qualifications, my abilities, my hobbies and my work experiences? Well, they were already stated in my resume and she has just gone through them one by one.
This was truly an awkward moment. Here I was trying to “sell” myself as a writer and I was actually at a loss for words.
What am I supposed to say? How does one describe oneself in a situation like this? I remember vaguely mumbling something … there were pauses in between during which I was trying to rack my brains and think of something interesting to say. It was then that it occurred to me that I truly did not know myself. Ask me to describe my friends, my family, places of interest I have visited, my experiences, my favourite food etc and I bet you I can fill countless pages. But ask me to describe myself and I’m simply stuck!
How do I describe myself so that people can see what is inside my soul? How do I describe myself so that people truly understand who I am? How do I describe myself without the benefit of my qualifications and experiences?
This question has been plaguing me for the past couple of days. And I’ve been wracking my brains trying to think of an ideal answer.
I like to think of myself as a silent observer in this great game of life. I can see myself as a little girl watching from an upstairs window as a noisy and colourful carnival passes by in the streets below. I want to go down and be a part of the crowd, but I’m too nervous and too shy. I dream of being a part of the carnival, but I know that I can never match the talent and the beauty of the group, so I remain upstairs, safe and secure in my little room and contented to watch the carnival of life go by.
There are so many things I want to do in my life. So many dreams I’d like to see come true. So many ambitions I want fulfilled. There are so many places I’d like to visit and things I’d like to do, not only for myself but for others as well.
But for now, I’m still the little girl at the window – watching and waiting – dreaming that someday I too will be a part of the carnival and not a mere distant spectator.
Is the right way to describe myself? I truly don’t know.
And so the question remains, “Who am I really?”

Confessions of an ageing Drama Queen

I’m such a sentimentalist. I find it difficult to discard old stuff because I often attach so much sentimental value to it. It’s the same with my “friends”. When I get to know someone and decide to go a step further in enfolding them into my close circle of friends, it means that I really value them and care for them a great deal. I am there for them in their time of need, I am there to lend a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on … I don’t mind doing favours for them even though at times it may call for a lot of bending back on my part. If I know that they are depressed or upset about something, I let them know that I am there for them in case they feel like opening up and talking and never once have I turned my back on anyone.
I make it a point to keep in touch with my friends, even though we may not have seen each other for a while – I drop them occasional e-mails, text messages and the odd card now and then.
But these past few months have been a real eye-opener for me. I have discovered how true the adage “Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Cry and you cry alone” is. I have been going through a slightly difficult patch these couple of months and suddenly I discover that my so called “friends” have turned their backs on me. My attempts to meet up with them for a chat or my e-mails and text messages to them have gone unanswered or even if they answer, its always filled with excuses as to how busy they are.
Suddenly people don’t want to know if you are having a problem. They pretend as if nothing is the matter. They have no time for you.
People who have time and time again asked favours of me appear to have just discarded me like a piece of trash. Now that I am no longer of use to them, they can’t be bothered about how I am or what is happening in my life. The feeling of betrayal hurts so deeply.
I have been such a fool to have been so trusting, so open and so vulnerable and I have learnt a very bitter lesson. No more will I allow anyone to hurt me or take advantage of me! From now on, this is one selfish bitch! And in the words of Simon & Garfunkel ......

I am a rock

I am an island

I’ve built walls

A fortress deep and mighty

That none may penetrate

I have no need for friendship

Friendship causes pain

It’s laughter and it's loving I disdain.

I am a rock

I am an island

Don't talk of love

Well, I've heard the word before

It’s sleeping in my memory

I won’t disturb the slumber

Of feelings that have died

If I’d never loved,

I never would have cried

I am a rock

I am an island

I have my books

And my poetry to protect me

I am shielded in my armour

Hiding in my room

Safe within my womb

I touch no-one and no-one touches me

I am a rock

I am an island

And the rock feels no pain

And an island never cries