I met up with an old friend recently. We used to go out … many moons ago … when I was in my 20s. We enjoyed each other’s company and didn’t have any major issues with one another then. He was nice and likeable and a perfect gentleman. He was hard-working and knew what he wanted out of life … a great career and a great family life, i.e. wife & kids. Somewhere along the way, he had equated me into his perfectly balanced life.
Unfortunately, I was still young and marriage was the furthest thing from my mind at that point in my life. Since I could not give him what he wanted, he started seeing other girls and eventually met someone and settled down. We kept in touch off and on – the usual birthday, Christmas and New Year greetings and the once in a while ‘Hi how are you doing’ call.
After numerous promises of catching up in person, we finally managed to get together. He hadn’t changed much – still the nice, likeable, perfect gentleman. It was quite easy to just catch up on stuff. Of course he wanted to know why I was still single after all this time … I had no plausible answer because I have now come to the stage where I don’t want to make excuses for myself or for others.
I don’t know … maybe he was trying to convince me how great being married was because he couldn’t stop talking about his wonderful wife and kids and how much meaningful his life was now. I was happy for him … truly … but what he said next was quite unexpected. He told me that he had often wondered what it would have been like if he had married me. While he went on to assure me that he loved his wife etc, he was often besieged by this thought about ‘us’ and what might have been.
Honestly, I didn’t know what to say because I had long given up on thinking about guys who may or may not have ‘slipped through my fingers’ as one of my friends nicely put it. Yes I met quite a number of interesting guys over the years … but for some reason or other, marriage was not on the cards … either for them or for me … for one reason or other.
I feel that there is no point looking back and asking myself whether I had made the right decision in letting them go. What’s the point of wondering what my life would have been like had I become Mrs So-and-So … I am not, so there!
Anyway, for old time’s sake, I just sat back in my chair, looked at my friend and tried to imagine what it would have been like if I had married him. I tried to imagine a life with him and as much as I liked him and as much as I think he would have made a good husband, I just could not picture the two of us together.
Has it ever occurred to him that the reason why I may ‘appear’ to be attractive, enticing, sexy, funny, intelligent, confident etc is precisely because I’m no longer within reach! Remember the saying … A forbidden fruit often seems much more tempting just because they are forbidden!
So instead of sitting and wistfully day-dreaming about a life that could have been, we should appreciate the life we are leading now and give thanks for what we have been blessed with. As for me, I’m looking forward to what surprises life has in store for me. So now excuse me while I go sit by the window in case my Prince Charming happens to pass by.
Unfortunately, I was still young and marriage was the furthest thing from my mind at that point in my life. Since I could not give him what he wanted, he started seeing other girls and eventually met someone and settled down. We kept in touch off and on – the usual birthday, Christmas and New Year greetings and the once in a while ‘Hi how are you doing’ call.
After numerous promises of catching up in person, we finally managed to get together. He hadn’t changed much – still the nice, likeable, perfect gentleman. It was quite easy to just catch up on stuff. Of course he wanted to know why I was still single after all this time … I had no plausible answer because I have now come to the stage where I don’t want to make excuses for myself or for others.
I don’t know … maybe he was trying to convince me how great being married was because he couldn’t stop talking about his wonderful wife and kids and how much meaningful his life was now. I was happy for him … truly … but what he said next was quite unexpected. He told me that he had often wondered what it would have been like if he had married me. While he went on to assure me that he loved his wife etc, he was often besieged by this thought about ‘us’ and what might have been.
Honestly, I didn’t know what to say because I had long given up on thinking about guys who may or may not have ‘slipped through my fingers’ as one of my friends nicely put it. Yes I met quite a number of interesting guys over the years … but for some reason or other, marriage was not on the cards … either for them or for me … for one reason or other.
I feel that there is no point looking back and asking myself whether I had made the right decision in letting them go. What’s the point of wondering what my life would have been like had I become Mrs So-and-So … I am not, so there!
Anyway, for old time’s sake, I just sat back in my chair, looked at my friend and tried to imagine what it would have been like if I had married him. I tried to imagine a life with him and as much as I liked him and as much as I think he would have made a good husband, I just could not picture the two of us together.
Has it ever occurred to him that the reason why I may ‘appear’ to be attractive, enticing, sexy, funny, intelligent, confident etc is precisely because I’m no longer within reach! Remember the saying … A forbidden fruit often seems much more tempting just because they are forbidden!
So instead of sitting and wistfully day-dreaming about a life that could have been, we should appreciate the life we are leading now and give thanks for what we have been blessed with. As for me, I’m looking forward to what surprises life has in store for me. So now excuse me while I go sit by the window in case my Prince Charming happens to pass by.
