Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Make Sure You're There!

I have what some people might term as a ‘morbid’ fascination in reading the obituaries every morning. Don’t get me wrong … I don’t get my morning adrenaline fix from reading about someone’s demise … I just automatically turn to that page every morning. It’s not a habit I picked up lately, but it has been a ‘ritual’ that I’ve followed faithfully for as long as I can remember.
Anyway while I was browsing through the obituaries one morning, this thought suddenly struck me … “Which photo of mine will my family use for my obituary?” “Oh my God, I hope they don’t use any of the photos which I took for official purposes, i.e. passport, IC, driving license (yeah yeah I do have a license you know!). Those photos are just awful!”
Hmmm … would they insert a long obituary or a short one? Would they include a poem? What about the funeral arrangements? Would they know to invite my favourite priests to concelebrate at the funeral Mass? More importantly, would the priests make the time to come for my funeral? What about the songs? I really don’t want any typical sad, forlorn funeral hymns. I want something that will leave people with a nice, warm feeling – something joyful and memorable … in fact I think I want to do away with the church choir. I want my friends (who have been blessed with the ability to sing) to make up the choir – well it’s the least they can do for me!
I’ve already ‘reserved’ my best friend to deliver my eulogy … hmmm … wonder if I should ask her to give me a first draft for editing and approval???
I think I should die on a Thursday … maybe in the afternoon or evening – so this will leave Friday for people to come show their respects and then the funeral can be held on a Saturday (saves most people the hassle of having to take leave) … see … even in death, I’m being so thoughtful! And I think a closed casket would be better coz I’d prefer to leave people with a memorable image of me, not one of me lying in the coffin and not looking anything like myself! Talk about vanity even in death!
Do you think having a dress rehearsal for a funeral would be taking it a bit too far??? Oh and on that final note, since I won’t be able to send out personal invitations, you are all invited to my funeral … Just make sure you start checking out the obituaries for the next 20 years or so!