Being single is not a crime

Singleness is a gift, a box of freedom, a package of time.

Single people cannot be themselves. Like politicians, we are public property. Everybody and her aunt needs to how old you are and why you are still single. Well meaning friends and relatives are always trying to pair you off with so-and-so’s brother, son, nephew etc.
If you happen to be above the age of 35, then it’s divorcees, widowers and ‘dirty’ old men that you are condemned to, as “all the nice ones are already taken.” You are left tired, exhausted and depressed but never alone.
If you are single, irrespective of your professional qualifications or designation, your standing remains that of a failure. But remaining single is a choice, whether circumstantial or professional. Just as we don’t ask a person why he/she is married, why question someone who is single?
If a single woman loses her temper easily, it is followed by sniggers of “She’s single and frustrated!” Like a well-meaning insult, your single status is always aimed at you as the reasons for your limitations. Why can’t a person be judged for herself, irrespective of her marital status?
Married friends are cautious of you being around their husbands too often lest you try and tempt them into an affair. Single friends with boyfriends prefer that you stay as far away as possible from the love of their live in case he finds you more interesting, attractive etc.
I am tired of those who pity me and pray for my deliverance. Life is not easy for anyone. The only way we can make it so is by acceptance. Why highlight what you think is missing in another person’s life?
A complete life is one which is lived fully and unconditionally. It’s an accomplishment that cannot be equated to the number of children you have, the kind of home you make or your performance as a spouse. Life is about your success as a human being first and last!
I know that many single women like me say “I don’t care”, but in reality we do … we say it out loud only to drown the pain.

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Honest Emotions

Single. Sounds simple. But it’s so complicated, so confusing.

Some people don’t know how to treat me. They don’t know if I am content or miserable. They wonder whether this is my decision or if I’m heartbroken.
They talk with me about love as if it is something I’ve never experienced. They try to fix me up with their friends as if my heart is up for grabs.
They want me to have their life-styles, their remedy for happiness. They mean well but they really don’t understand.

To be honest, I’m not sure I really understand either. Sometimes I don’t know how to act or respond. I’ve been single all my life and still I can’t comprehend all the rules to the game.
Do I conceal my loneliness? Admit I’m content? Show my tears? Voice my frustrations? Reveal my peace? Do I share with others all the contradictions I feel as a single woman?

Sometimes I dare not be vulnerable with my deepest feelings. By opening up my soul, letting it speak for itself. I often hear words that surprise even me. Yesterday I was so content, so peaceful. Now I hear my heart speak restlessness. Sometimes I reveal in my freedom, other times I dream of having someone special to share the memories with me.

I have all these feelings, all these honest emotions, all these hurts and joys.
I’m a single woman, discovering daily exactly what that means to me.